


struggle and weariness

by panther



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panther/pseuds/panther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's not happily married. These days he is barely tolerating it. He would much rather be with his Auror partner Marcus and live the quiet life without expectations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry knows he is getting old for a while. He can feel it in his bones. Being a wizard it is not as if he is aging that much or in any sort of trouble with his health. He just feels weary. He admits all of this the second time he catches himself thinking ' _When I was your age you ungrateful little shite_ ' in regards to Teddy. It makes him stop and think about where his life is going and where it is and he realises it is way off track. 

He's not happily married. These days he is barely tolerating it. 

He is not happy with Ginny. She likes the limelight that he shies away from. She's loud and he is quiet and as they get older those opposites don't balance each other so well. 

He does not like having sex with her. Really, he does not like having sex at all. It was never a huge interest but he wanted kids so that was that. Thing is, he did not fight a war to endure things he did not want to because society says he should like it. The wary almost looks lovely now. He thought he was lost back then but he wasn't really. He knew exactly what he had to do. Kill Voldemort. He knew that before they told him. It just wasn't so nice to hear it confirmed. Now he wanders through life doing things others say so they don't cause him bother. Some life. 

Marcus talks of liking the quiet life. He goes home and puts the radio on and every third night or so he pours himself a whiskey. He goes at his own pace and does his own thing and it sounds marvelous to Harry. Marcus insists that they can be happy together and that he can see how miserable Harry is. He insists Harry can take time but he doesn't need it. Sex would not be a chore he had to do. He would not get chased to apparation points by the press after a meal at a fancy restaurant that didn't feed him enough anyway.

Things must change. He'll talk to Ginny in the morning.


	2. 2

"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. That is a quote and you need to listen to it." Marcus declares on Saturday afternoon as he gets beer out of the fridge. Ginny had been understandably upset and asked Harry to give her some space. "You did the right thing telling her you were not happy anymore. You have to focus on that and not making yourself ruddy miserable."

"She looked so broken. Not many purebloods get asked for a divorce. Taboo and all that." Harry mutters.

"Of course she is but I honestly think she must have known something was off. Hopefully she can come to understand and realise you two are better off apart."

"If you say so. I mean I knew it would hurt her but I can't...I can't do it anymore. And you said we, well-"

Marcus knocks Harry's knee gently with his as he sits down. "Look, we don't need to rush anything alright? You can stay here as long as you need. Sort your separation. Then...then we can talk and...stuff. You know, bigger flat or trying like, dating or something."

"Real eloquent there, mate."

"Shut it, Potter." 

They fall into a quiet silence and drink their beer and think about the future. It isn't awkward. That feels fantastic in itself. Marcus mutters something about a Quidditch game a while later and goes over to his side unit to fiddle with the radio while Harry gets more beer out of the fridge. They are going to need more. Some food wouldn't be a bad idea for later either. He has somehow got Marcus hooked on muggle takeaways during their partnership so maybe they can get a pizza in. 

He loves the fact that Marcus is being respectful of Ginny. They have three children and really it is four because Teddy is theirs in their hearts and you don't just walk away from that and set up home elsewhere. It is going to take time and a lot of it but for the first time in a while Harry feels relaxed and hopeful about his future as if it is in his hands again. 

"Pizza?"

"Pepperoni. And nachos."

"Pig."

"Just order you git."


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus and Harry attempt to date. Teddy is the first Potter child to invite himself round.

After Harry moves into Marcus' little flat, officially, he notices that the quality of the bottles of wine the older man brings home on a Friday night goes up. He also notices that it takes Marcus longer to choose while Harry busies about in another part of the store finding something for their dinner. It makes him feel strange inside but in a good way. Neither of them officially states that they are trying to date but Marcus takes him to a Quidditch game and Harry drags him off to the Nimbus museum the weekend after. Mrs Flint is old and stuffy and seems to detest every second she has forced to spend in Harry's presence but the Sunday dinner feels like a milestone. 

Marcus asks him if he might want to consider sleeping in his bed that night, though he makes it clear that is all he wants. Harry blushes like a school boy and takes far longer to brush his teeth than required before shyly getting into the left side of the bed. Marcus covers Harry's hand with his own and sighs contently. Harry wonders if men his age are meant to be capable of feeling so ridiculous anymore. 

Marcus is not very hands on anyway but Harry likes a cuddle and to feel the presence of his partner against his shoulder while he reads the latest paper or sports magazine. They find themselves finding their feet and balancing out. Ron makes it clear that he has not thought Harry and Ginny worked for a long time and if Harry is happy then so is he. 

Teddy is the first child he has to content with in regards to giving some straight answers and he certainly wasn't the one Harry expected. Teddy informs him at lunch in the canteen that he is coming for dinner and then marches off before Harry can respond. Marcus has paused with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. "We're going to need more rice."

"That's all you have to say?!"

Marcus composes himself, ever the Slytherin. "Well they had to come around sometime. One at a time suits me fine. More wine perhaps too." 

It's something wonderfully safe.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy is coming to dinner and Marcus is breaking out about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to drop the 365 word limitations and just write my story. Wrestling with that idea is why this is so late. sorry <3

Marcus rearranges the furniture so that his folding dining table can spread out in the living room and then sets the table and opens the red wine to breathe. Teddy is due in half an hour and Marcus is very glad that Harry's younger children are still at Hogwarts so none of them can spring themselves on the pair. When he said it was inevitable to meet the kids this way he felt calm. Not now. 

Teddy is the eldest and it is a role the young man takes quite seriously. Every moment of his evening from the hotness of the Rogan Josh to the quality of the Rioja will be fed back to James, Albus and Lily by owl before the young Auror has even gone to bed. Harry has been vague when talking about the kids and Marcus is not sure if that is because they are typical Hogwarts kids who dread having to write out a decent sized letter or because there is animosity between them all. He knows Ron and Hermione Granger have no hard feelings and are understanding but is unsure about the rest of the clan. 

He is fretting but Harry is fretting even more so he says nothing until the bell goes in the hallway. Marcus startles because he expected Teddy to Apparate or come via the floo network but nevertheless he scrambles to his feet and makes for the door.

"Evening, Teddy. Come on in." HIs tongue feels like it is having difficulty dislodging from the top of his mouth. This is it. This is the night he gets _judged_ .

"Alright, Marcus?" Teddy enquires jovially while shoving another bottle of wine at Marcus. "Dad in the kitchen? Right."

Marcus reads the label of the French Merlot to distract himself from the fact that Teddy calls Harry 'Dad'. He never knew that. He had always seen them interact at work and well of course they would be more professional there. 

"Ted!" He hears from the kitchen followed by laughter and quiet conversation. They may not need the second bottle but then they might so Marcus opens that up so it can breathe too. His mother taught him never to just drink a red upon opening. Figuring he will start to look rude he wanders through into the kitchen and promptly takes a half step back. His eyes fill with water at the heat of the curry Harry is putting together. 

"I did that too." Teddy says. "I think he's trying to kill us using curry paste."

"Oh shut up you big kids." Harry states with a smile, looking adorable to Marcus in his oven gloves and glasses half steamed up. "Water will be on the table and you have the nans. Or you will. If I cooked them right. Which is...possible."

"Made yourself, Dad?"

"It didn't look too hard..." Harry states quietly. 

"I'm sure they will be wonderful, Harry. I'll get extra glasses with ice for the table." Marcus says before moving to do just that. Just when he's finished Teddy is wandering into the room behind him with the freshly cooked nans on a tray in one hand and a plate of curry in the other. Harry appears behind him with the other two plates and they nervously sit down together to eat. 

Marcus feels panic rise again but forces it down while pouring wine and getting himself some nan bread to start his meal off.

"You don't need to look so nervous guys. " Teddy says quietly. "I'm not here to judge, well I am a bit, but I want to make sure dad's happy and get to know you and stuff. Lilly is dying for information. She won't stop bugging me but as per usual can't find the bottle to write to you herself."

The ice breaks and Marcus slumps in his seat.


End file.
